he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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