So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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