she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
