She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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