Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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