when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
