Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
