so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
