I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it's great music for shaving your balls
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
