Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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