a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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