I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
only if we run a train.
done.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
