I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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