I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
