If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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