Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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