If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize