Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Need sex. Gaining weight.

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  (347): Need sex. Gaining weight. http://tfl.nu/ag2f
  Replies (12) Good night (743) Bad night (2784)
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  (408): View more from California

  Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people

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  (408): Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people http://tfl.nu/thju
  Replies (12) Good night (4370) Bad night (657)
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  (585): View more from New York

  even my farts smell like vagina

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  (585): even my farts smell like vagina http://tfl.nu/9cib
  Replies (10) Good night (1007) Bad night (3532)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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  (503): i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean. http://tfl.nu/trho
  Replies (19) Good night (7090) Bad night (629)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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  (978): Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over. http://tfl.nu/42jf
  Replies (22) Good night (1418) Bad night (4431)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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  (405): She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do. http://tfl.nu/bqi8
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (4481)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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  (269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194
  Replies (4) Good night (2607) Bad night (1008)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1375) Bad night (4329)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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  (239): No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him http://tfl.nu/yi67
  Replies (12) Good night (1500) Bad night (2241)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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  (360): Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/0hus
  Replies (10) Good night (1826) Bad night (774)
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  (530): View more from California

  Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking

  (530): View more from California

  That could use a little rephrasing

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  (530): Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking (530): That could use a little rephrasing http://tfl.nu/xfz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1930) Bad night (852)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.

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  (336): Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend. http://tfl.nu/6ua4
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry

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  (585): shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry http://tfl.nu/7vhr
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club

  (716): View more from New York

  You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall

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  (585): The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club (716): You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall http://tfl.nu/3muu
  Replies (0) Good night (929) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  If you insist

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.

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  (320): I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while. (1-320): If you insist (320): The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist. http://tfl.nu/uwtr
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (321)

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