remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
