You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.