You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%