I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Two words: blizzard sex
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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