I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
