There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.