Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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