I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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