Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
