he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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