She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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