Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Your penis caused this!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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