Already got asked if we're dating
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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