So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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