i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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