i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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