We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
