So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
