is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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