My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
