In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Pooping to opera.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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