first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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