why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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