My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
