what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Boobs speak an international language.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
