I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
