And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I party with great urgency now.
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