I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Enjoy the penises
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
