Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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