I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You made out with two different species that night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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