I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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