Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
