You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
