adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
