Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
