He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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