I accidentally burped into my bong.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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