saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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