he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
a search helicopter?!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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