Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
