i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
