Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
