Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
