i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
