it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
