I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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