Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
