My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize