So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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