just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This baby is an asshole
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
