i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
