i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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