yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
