he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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